When You Do What You Hate
We want to please God. We love His Word. We want to be patient, pure, generous, and forgiving. And then we say the cruel thing. We entertain the thought. We hold on to the resentment.
And we wonder: “If God has changed me, why am I still fighting this?”
If you’ve been a believer for more than 60 seconds, you can identify with Paul’s experience in Romans 7: “For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate” (v. 15).
Theologians have long debated whether Paul is describing his experience before conversion or his current experience as a believer. I believe he’s describing the internal turmoil he experiences as a Christian. He writes in the present tense, and he says, “For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being” (v. 22). That delight reflects a heart God has changed.
Before you were a Christian, you may have been largely unaware of sin’s seriousness. Your conscience troubled you at times, but you lived how you wanted without giving much thought to how your sin offended God.
Then God opened your eyes. You repented and trusted Jesus Christ. God forgave you and counted you righteous in His sight. You stood forgiven and accepted because of Jesus.
With newfound joy, you charged into life wanting to please Him.
But then you sinned again. And now your sin hurt. You were deeply troubled that you had displeased the Lord you loved. Maybe you wondered, “Am I actually a Christian? I shouldn’t be struggling with this anymore. What’s wrong with me?”
You’ve entered the ongoing struggle of sanctification. Sanctification is God’s gracious work of making you increasingly like Jesus. The God who welcomes you also patiently changes you. Growth involves struggle, repentance, and learning to depend on Him.
The closer you get to God, the more you see your own sin. As you honestly measure yourself against His standards, you recognize how far you fall short. Paul sees his sin, grieves over it, and humbles himself before God. He understands his need for Christ.
What’s causing this struggle? Paul points to “sin that dwells within me” (v. 17). At the cross, sin’s penalty was paid. When you came to Christ, sin’s dominion was broken. Sin’s presence will be removed when you go to be with your Lord.
Until then, you will continue to battle it.
Paul’s anguish finally spills out: “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (v. 24).
Do you ever feel that way? Do you feel defeated because sin keeps getting the upper hand, even though you know what’s right and pleasing to God?
Look where Paul turns: “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (v. 25).
Because of Jesus, two things are simultaneously true.
First, your sins are forgiven. Your acceptance before God rests on the perfect righteousness of Jesus Christ, credited to your account through faith. When you fail, remind yourself of that gospel. Your failure has not undone your Savior’s finished work.
Yes, repent. Confess honestly. Where you have harmed someone, seek forgiveness and make restitution where you can. Take your sin seriously. Christ has paid for it in full. Come grieving your sin and trusting your Savior.
Second, Christ will help you in the ongoing battle. Romans 8:13 tells us to put sin to death “by the Spirit.” God has given you His Spirit, who lives within you and enables you to obey.
Depending on the Spirit involves taking action.
Be honest about the sin you’re fighting. Name it. We sometimes call bitterness “being hurt,” pride “just being honest,” and greed “wanting a little security.” Let God’s Word expose your heart. Confess without defending yourself.
Bring that particular struggle to God. “Father, I am angry, and I want to hurt this person with my words. Remind me of the mercy You have shown me. Help me speak with love.”
Then stop feeding what you’re asking God to put to death. Close the screen. Leave the conversation. Change the habit. Tell a trusted believer where you need help.
Practice the obedience God calls for. Tell the truth. Speak gently. Give. Seek forgiveness.
You don’t have to wait until temptation disappears before you obey God. And when you fail, confess it promptly. Return to Christ, receive His forgiveness, and return to the fight.
Christ will not leave His work in you unfinished. Never forget that.
