Kirk’s Advice

If Mr. Kirk’s Advice Has You Going, “Yes, but How?”

In the days following Charlie Kirk’s assassination, his speeches and debates have sparked a firestorm of circulation on the Internet. People are sharing their favorite (or least favorite) Charlie quotes far and wide. Some are even saying that Charlie “broke the Internet.”

Here is some advice he gave on X shortly before his death: “Get married. Have children. Build a legacy. Pass down your values. Pursue the eternal. Seek true joy.”

If this statement has you nodding in agreement while simultaneously throwing your hands up in a sort of jaded frustration, I can relate. 

For Christians who know the benefits of marriage and family, and desire this God-given blessing, but have yet to enter into this covenant, these sentiments can grate against a deep longing, and maybe even strike up a sense of hopelessness that everyone is out there changing the world with their perfect families while you toil away in the murky abyss of the modern dating pool.

Let me first chip away at some illusions, and then offer up some hope.

First of all, marriage is meaningful and honorable and sanctifying, but it is not exclusively for those of us who have “arrived.” Just look at me, and dozens of other couples in your life. Take a look at the couples in the Bible. We’re not married because we possess some mystic quality that makes us better or more mature. 

Marriage can certainly mature us, but we don’t always start out that way.

Marriage is a powerful picture of Christ and His Church, and us husbands and wives get to witness that firsthand, not as perfect practitioners, but as redeemed observers.

The Desire for Marriage Can Be a Good and Right Desire

The second point I want to emphasize is that you are not alone nor forgotten in this struggle. 

Even Paul, in his declaration that it is good to be single, acknowledges one of the many challenges of singleness: sexual temptation. He then says “But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:9 ESV).

The desire for marriage is reflected in the very first pages of Scripture. When God created Adam, he said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18 ESV). 

A desire for marriage is biblically supported. It is good, despite what the secular world insinuates. It is not desperate or idolizing– not if we don’t let it become these things. 

Single Christian, You Are Not the Only One

The percentage of married households in the U.S. is nosediving. The median age of first marriage in the United States is climbing farther and farther back, lengthening the time many of us spend single. 

This is being reflected in our churches. 

After a decade of struggling to meet a godly man that was right for me to marry, I married at age 28 and we welcomed our first child when I was 30. (This is on the late side by Mennonite standards. It felt late by my standards, too!) 

Let’s take a look at the Kirks, who inspired this conversation. By their wedding day, the Kirks were in their late twenties (Charlie) and early thirties (Erika).

I hope sharing these anecdotes can encourage you. There are many more late bloomer marriage stories like this, thanks be to God! Collect them, if they inspire you. 

If you are struggling through singleness, know that you are not alone. The statistics affirm this. Connect with others in real life who both share in your single status and who are married, who can become trusted supports and prayerful friends.

You never know what can come out of these networks.

But– single Christian who yearns for marriage and family– you must try and try and try for marriage and not lose hope. 

Keep showing up to your local church, even if you’re not sure where to sit. Keep getting involved in fellowship events and ministry activities. Keep being generous and meeting others and asking for the Lord’s help and cultivating gratitude. Keep seeking the wisdom of godly mentors, and keep sharing the Gospel with others around you.

We know that the Proverbs 31 woman “laughs at the time to come,” (Proverbs 31:25 ESV), and I’d like to think she possessed that quality before marriage, too. 

Face this challenge with hope, with prayer, with action. With laughter, even.

God loves you and is making the way before you, single Christian. Regardless of relationship status, He holds you in the palm of His hand and numbers each of your days.