Happiness or Holiness: Why We Don’t Have to Choose
Happiness and holiness get framed as opposites, like you must pick one and ditch the other. That's a false choice, a trap that leaves us either spiritually empty or burdened with unnecessary guilt. God doesn't set it up that way. Scripture connects them: holiness is the path to true happiness, the kind that lasts, not the end of joy. Christ didn't come to keep us dour or briefly amused. He came to bring us into His joy, the sort that stands forever. We miss it because we are afraid of feeling good or because we cling to false definitions.
The False Dichotomy of Happiness or Holiness
Religious culture spreads the myth that holiness and happiness are mutually exclusive. Some people believe that one must live a strict life and present a stern exterior in order to demonstrate devotion. Others think pursuing happiness means chasing material possessions rather than God. Both perspectives create the same problem: we end up empty, restless, and constantly searching for the next short-lived rush.
The world offers a frail alternative to God's design: quick thrills that fade. Examples abound: attention, parties, material belongings, all promising fulfillment but falling short. Even those who actively seek worldly happiness know its limitations: rich celebrities without peace, drug addicts without rest. Yet they continue preaching that these temporary pleasures are all that exists.
Too many Christians make the opposite mistake, treating joy like a spiritual liability. It's "Evangeliguilt," to use Barnabas Piper's term, when Christians feel bad about being joyful, as though it's not spiritual. They believe that holiness must always appear solemn, burdened by pain and self-deprivation. That is a basic misrepresentation of what the Bible says.
What changes everything, though, is that genuine happiness arises spontaneously and endures when we put holiness first. Not happiness from temporary things, but joy rooted in something eternal. Psalm 16:11 declares, "There is fullness of joy in your presence; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Christ states, "These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full," in John 15:11. Happiness comes from God, not from its adversary. The important difference? True happiness comes from him, not from our fleeting desires. More than that, John Piper states, “He does not give us happiness, He is our happiness.”
God does not demand emotionless obedience or repressed feelings. "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice," says Philippians 4:4. That's an instruction, not an optional suggestion. Even more tellingly, Deuteronomy 28:47-48 warns Israel: serve God with joy, or serve enemies in misery. Joy isn't an addition to faith: it's essential.
Christlikeness is the path to true happiness
The truth is surprisingly straightforward: you have to imitate Christ if you want to be genuinely happy. Think about the final destination that Scripture foretells in Revelation 21–22: a new earth, a new heaven, and God residing among us. No suffering, no death, only unending happiness. That is the aim of holiness; it is not a self-centered dream. Every sin was erased, every imperfection was eliminated, and people fully resembled Him.
The greatest degree of happiness is when we become pure before God and reflect His nature, rather than obtaining what we desire. According to Romans 8:29, God has already decided that we will resemble Christ. Growing in this direction, letting go of pride, greed, and resentment, transforms duty into a deeper form of joy in our lives. The kind of joy that endures when all else fails, not the transient joy of momentary pleasures.
This connection is fundamentally misunderstood by both the world and many Christians. The world offers fleeting tastes of happiness that leave you empty. Christians often view happy moments as spiritual failures, as though smiling and holiness are incompatible.
Examine Jesus himself. He rejoiced at weddings, ate meals with friends, and welcomed children, even as He lamented sin and suffering. He wasn't a somber religious hermit. According to John 10:10, He came "that they may have life, and have it abundantly." That's not about restraint: that's about spiritual fullness and freedom. The more we embrace Christ's will and character, the more we gain access to things that the world cannot match.
The Practical Path Forward
How can we bring happiness and holiness together? It all begins with pursuing true holiness, or alignment with God's character and purposes, as opposed to the solemn performance that many mistake for spirituality. As we become more holy, our desires gradually change, becoming less self-centered and more focused on what is genuinely good. True happiness, which is a lasting state of being rather than a passing feeling, is just getting started.
Matthew 5:8 states, "The pure in heart are blessed, for they shall see God."The word "blessed" literally means "happy": happy in a way that is connected to the divine source. Our desires are reset when we pursue holiness, which releases us from attachment to ultimately unsatisfying things. This requires sacrifice, yes. We must constantly put aside our old selves: envy, dishonesty, hatred, and embrace God's design for humanity.
But here's the promise: "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). This is a promise that our desires will evolve to reflect what genuinely fulfills us, not a blank check for our present desires.
Start with a heartfelt prayer, asking to see God clearly, not just as a source of duties and obligations. Take the psalmist's words to heart: "Your testimonies are my heritage forever, for they are the joy of my heart" (Psalm 119:111).
Put this knowledge into practice by doing the following specific things: give freely and experience the joy of generosity; forgive without reservation and feel the freedom it brings; and lean into a real community where you can be known and challenged. These are not barriers, but rather stepping stones to the life that Christ promised.
Recognize and accept God's blessings without feeling guilty. Never undervalue the peaceful moments, deeply felt truths, or spiritual growth that bring you true joy. These experiences are gifts from God and do not require justification. Set aside your guilt when it comes up. According to 1 Timothy 6:17, God "richly provides us with everything to enjoy."
Be honest when addressing the tension. Yes, there are instances when pursuing Christ means forgoing short-term joy in favor of long-term happiness. Seasons of hardship, persecution, and expensive obedience are all part of the narrow road. But even these experiences, when embraced in faith, produce a deeper joy that suffering cannot touch. The martyrs sang hymns not because they enjoyed pain, but because they had tasted something better.
Keep your distance from those who mock joy or encourage false guilt, and surround yourself with people who get this integration. Establish conditions that allow for the coexistence of holiness and happiness.
On the path of sanctification, holiness and happiness are inseparable companions rather than rivals. The ultimate evidence is provided by Revelation: perfect holiness accompanied by perfect joy. Instead of putting off happiness for some far-off future that never comes, we can start living this reality right now.
