From Damaged Goods to Treasured Possession

Have you ever felt like those dented cans in the grocery store's clearance section? The ones that broadcast their brokenness to everyone who sees them with the large "DAMAGED GOODS" sticker. You try your best to look presentable, hoping others will notice that, despite the visible scars on the outside, the inside is still good. The harsh reality is that you're often more damaged internally than you realize.

Though painfully common, this feeling isn't normal. Countless people carry shame around like a backpack filled with rocks, voices constantly whispering that they are irreparably broken. The tricky thing about lies is that they always begin with a sliver of truth. Yes, you are broken. But the lie whispers, "You're unfixable."

Because the brokenness is so obvious, we readily accept this lie. Then something terrible happens. We begin to see everything through this unfixable lens. Parents divorce? It must be your fault, and nothing can fix it. Someone you love dies? God is punishing you for being unfixable. You get laid off? You weren't skilled enough, you're unfixable. Each blow gets filtered through this belief until even good things become suspect. "She doesn't really love me." "He'll leave eventually, everyone does." “I won’t get this promotion; everyone else is better than me.” "This joy won't last."

The downward spiral gets worse until you're desperately searching for anything that could help while drowning in shame.

The Lie That Shapes Everything

Perhaps you recognize this pattern. Despite your accomplishments, you feel fundamentally flawed. Every relationship feels temporary, every compliment feels fake. When you make a mistake at work, you don't just feel guilty about what you did wrong but experience crushing shame about who you are. This is the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt says, "I did wrong." Shame whispers, "I am wrong."

Shame becomes the lens through which we interpret everything. The voice of shame is relentless, turning our minds into courtrooms where we're always the defendant and never the victor.

Enter self-esteem, the miracle cure everyone's selling. The cultural narrative claims that low self-esteem causes everything from school shootings to eating disorders. Boost someone's confidence, they say, and watch their problems vanish. But the Association for Psychological Science discovered something startling. "High self-esteem does not predict better performance or greater success. And though people with high self-esteem do think they're more successful, objectively, they are not."

Self-esteem is inherently self-focused, constantly looking inward, trying to change how you feel about yourself through positive thinking. When reality crashes in, and it always does, the whole system collapses, and for those who have high self-esteem, the crash is even greater. The problem is that self-esteem can't speak your promotion into existence or change objective reality, because positive thinking doesn’t change anything objectively speaking.

Though well-intentioned, even some churches have bought into this self-help gospel, replacing biblical encouragement with therapeutic moralism. Though well-meant, these platitudes leave hurting people with more work to do rather than offering hope to receive.

When self-esteem fails us, shame still doesn't let go. It drives us deeper into hiding, just as it did in the garden. We see this pattern in Genesis 3 when Adam tells God, "I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself." Fear and shame drove them into hiding, just like they drive us today.

We hide in different ways now. We work late to avoid facing our failures. We lose ourselves in video games where we can feel powerful and successful. We numb ourselves with entertainment, substances, or endless activity and all sorts of forms of escapism to temporarily relieve us from the weight of shame. Depression and trauma worsen when shame whispers, "You're unfixable," making these band-aids fall off and leaving us more wounded than before.

After enough cycles of self-help failure and temporary escape, you're left with two options. End it all or discover how the gospel addresses shame.

When Jesus Finds Us Hiding

Here's what changes everything. While Adam and Eve hid because of shame, God called out to them anyway. We fear exposure because we think it leads to condemnation. But look closely at what happened. Yes, there were consequences, but God called them out of hiding, removed their inadequate coverings, and clothed them with a sacrifice He provided.

God's forgiveness is costly, but Christ bore the cost. Christ satisfied all of God's wrath against you by absorbing it in full on the cross. God calls you to vulnerability, not to condemn but to save. Jesus said, "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but so that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned" (John 3:17-18).

Christ came for damaged goods, not to discard them, but to redeem them. When you believe, you become a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). This union with Christ means His righteousness becomes yours, His acceptance covers you, and His identity replaces your shame-based self-perception. Self-esteem teaches you to deny that you’re damaged goods altogether to achieve what only Christ accomplishes, but self-esteem cannot fulfill its promises because self-esteem, when it is boiled down, really is self-redemption through positive self-thoughts. Christ calls us to acknowledge the reality of our brokenness. He came for the sick, not the healthy, but He doesn’t leave us in our depravity or shame. 

But shame doesn't disappear overnight, even for Christians. As Scripture reveals, shame frequently reappears through old voices. Friends who remember your past, family members who rehearse your failures, and Satan himself, "the accuser" (Revelation 12:10). This isn't merely a psychological conflict but spiritual warfare. Satan wants to keep believers stuck in shame because shame-bound Christians rarely experience the freedom and joy that draw others to the gospel.

Martin Luther understood this battle. Commenting on our struggle with accusation, he speaks as if speaking to Satan, "As often as you object that I am a sinner, so often you remind me of the benefit of Christ my Redeemer, on whose shoulders, and not on mine, lie all my sins."

It's crucial to recognize that shame can result from what's done to us, not just what we do. People who have experienced trauma, abuse, or neglect often carry shame that wasn't theirs in the first place. The gospel addresses not only our guilt but also our wounded identities.

Walking in Freedom

So how do you walk free when shame comes knocking again?

Immerse yourself in your identity in Christ. Memorize passages such as Ephesians 1:3–14 or Romans 8:14–17. When embarrassment strikes, these facts must be easily accessible.

Confession should be made in a Christian community that you can trust. We are to "confess [our] sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed," according to James 5:16. This does not imply disclosing everything to everyone, but rather bringing shame to the attention of mature, wise believers who react with grace rather than condemnation.

Preach the Gospel to yourself, daily. As Ed Welch states in Shame Interrupted, "The gospel alone has the power to both expose and heal our shame." Remind yourself constantly that your identity is defined only by Christ's completed work, not by your shame.

Use the gospel truth to refute the enemy's charges. Keep in mind that Christ died for sinners just like you when Satan tells you that you are beyond redemption. Remember that you were adopted as a cherished child when he says that God is disgusted by you. This is warfare with revealed truth, not optimistic thinking. You were not adopted simply to be a “red-headed stepchild,” but you are beloved by God, and His delight is in you. You are precious to Him. 

Through the local church, make sure their liturgies highlight God's love for sinners, preaching that consistently confronts shame with gospel hope, and hospitality that embraces the broken without attempting to fix them right away, churches can foster environments that heal shame. Every week, corporate confession and assurances of pardon serve as a reminder that we are all forgiven, not just our individual sins. 

Remember that healing from shame is typically a process. Peter exhorts us to "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord" (2 Peter 3:18), implying that our understanding of God's grace deepens as we mature. Practice patience with yourself as the Spirit renews your heart and mind.

Start small if you're feeling overwhelmed. Tell one trusted believer about your struggle with shame. Read Psalm 32 out loud, like a prayer. Take a single step toward the light rather than remaining hidden in darkness.

In Christ, you're adopted. God wanted you and chose you specifically for His family. Jesus despised your shame, not you, and dealt with it by going to the cross joyfully (Hebrews 12:2). The Father poured out the fullness of His anger on Christ for you, meaning He's no longer angry with you but takes joy in restoring you.

You are not damaged goods shoved to the clearance shelf. In Christ, you are God's treasured possession, fully loved, eternally redeemed, and cherished as His beloved child.