Stop Spiritualizing People’s Pain Away
How Did It Happen?
Toxic positivity has been an idea thrown around the media culture for nearly a decade now, and it is the idea that one can be so positive that it denies reality so much that it is toxic to individuals and groups. Very often in the “Reformed” world of Christianity, there is a hyper-critical milieu that flavors the air that simply should not occur, though the reason for much of it is that there is so much wrong with much of what is called “Evangelicalism” today. The problem is that we tend to follow a pendulum swing rather than follow the plumb line of Scripture. We boast and brag about holding to Sola Scriptura in our doctrine, but seemingly deny it in our practice because we simply run from anything that smells of false doctrine rather than practicing Sola Scriptura when approaching false teachings. “We would never be caught dead being toxically positive!” (Though there is such a thing as toxically negative...but that’s for another article.) And yet, ironically, there is a toxic positivity within the Reformed world.
A Reformed (Prosperity) Gospel
One of these false teachings is the now-famous Prosperity Gospel. The prosperity gospel could be defined as seeking material blessings through seeking Christ through prayer and faith. The ultimate goal is the material blessings, and Christianity, Christ, prayer, faith, etc., are the tools to achieve those blessings. Having a focus on comfort and pleasure brings us to the conclusion that suffering is the ultimate enemy. There has been much to say that criticizes the Prosperity gospel, so I won’t say too much about it beyond that. I commend the work of Costi Hinn in his book God, Greed, and the (Prosperity) Gospel, which is an incredible book.
While I also thank the Lord for the growth of Reformed theology over the past decades, I have a fear that these reforms haven’t been enough. What I mean by this is that many people came to Reformed theology after previously holding to some forms of prosperity theology and seeing the emptiness it is and the brokenness it brings, but they never truly get rid of the ideas, just utilize different vocabulary words to deal with it. For example, someone who is in the prosperity movement would rebuke any form of suffering and deny the acceptance of suffering in their life or the lives of their loved ones, the Reformed person will functionally do the same but simply say “You need to rejoice through it,” or “God works all things together for good,” or “God is sovereign,” or “your feelings aren’t real,” as if evil isn’t evil or suffering isn’t a reality in our lives. Certainly, your feelings may not interpret reality correctly, but they are still real. Certainly, God works all things for good, and certainly, you need to rejoice through suffering; these are truisms for certain, but it ends up skipping over the fact that God sovereignly brings that specific suffering into our lives for our good, and only focuses on the “breakthrough at the end.” Functionally, they are both the same, and I would say both are incorrect for doing so. This has created a form of Prosperity Gospel within the Reformed world, which I would argue is far more insidious because it denies the Prosperity Gospel on the one hand and practices it on the other. This is what Jesus Christ called “hypocrisy.”
The Solution
The first thing to recognize is that suffering exists. While many wouldn’t openly deny this, we need to remember that suffering exists, and while God is certainly sovereign, that means this evil act occurred because of Him (regardless of your thoughts on the language of God’s allowing it or God’s ordaining it, both agree that God orchestrated the events that led to this particular suffering). This is not to impugn God and His character. Suffering must be seen as a guide and tool that sanctifies us and a teacher that teaches us to hate earthly pleasures. Augustine once said, answering the shallow counseling of the poor counselor who flippantly quotes “We know that all things work together for good to them that love God?” Augustine answers, “They lost all they had. Their faith? Their godliness? The possessions of the hidden man of the heart, which in the sight of God are of great price? Did they lose these? For these are the wealth of the Christian.” (City of God 1.10). Augustine’s point is that what the Christian who suffers loses is actually that which is considered wealth to the world but is poverty in the sight of God (see Revelation 3:17). Suffering only takes away that which is desired by men that will not be inherited when Christ returns, yet, suffering still hurts and is still painful which brings us to the second point.
Suffering exists now because Christ has not yet returned to end suffering. The next thing we must remember is that there is an appointed time for Christ to return, and until that time, suffering is part of the reality God is sovereign over. So yes, it is true that “God is sovereign,” but this ought not to be a platitude or a pat answer to functionally deny the reality of suffering, assuming that God’s sovereignty will only bring about that which is positive or “blessings.” Romans 8 teaches us that we are longing for the New Heavens and the New Earth, where suffering will be abolished, sin destroyed, death will be dead, and all things are made new. But Romans 8 also teaches us that all of creation (including ourselves) is groaning like a mother in child labor pains, this means that it hurts, there is suffering, there is pain, and the only thing that brings about the end of this pain is the new life that ultimately comes in the return of Christ when our eternal life is made manifest and we partake of the Tree of Life.
Suffering truly exists, and although it will come to an end when Christ returns, it is important not to adopt an "over-realized eschatology." This means not acting as if Christ has already returned, and instead, doing the hard work of meeting people in their suffering by bringing the entire counsel of God's word to them. This involves going beyond using Biblical truths as platitudes and catchphrases, and instead, providing guidance from a range of scriptures, not just relying on verses such as Romans 8:28 or Philippians 4:6-7. By doing this, we can help people move forward and upward toward Christ.
Shepherding Through the Valley
Church leaders bear a unique responsibility in guiding their flocks through suffering. The pastor who quotes Romans 8:28 without walking alongside the suffering believer merely perpetuates the Reformed Prosperity Gospel we've identified. Instead, godly shepherds must model Christ's approach to suffering.
First, church leaders must be willing to sit in the ashes with those who suffer. Before Job's friends began their unhelpful theological lectures, they "sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great" (Job 2:13). There is profound ministry in presence before prescription. The pastor who rushes to theological explanation before demonstrating Christ-like compassion has missed the heart of pastoral care.
Second, leaders must preach and teach God's full counsel regarding suffering. This means not avoiding the Psalms of lament, the book of Ecclesiastes, or the raw honesty of Jeremiah's writings. When was the last time your church sang a lament? When did your pastor last preach through Job without immediately jumping to the "restoration" at the end? Our liturgies and preaching must make space for the reality of present suffering while maintaining eschatological hope.
Third, church leaders should model proper grief in their own lives. Too often, pastors feel compelled to display unwavering strength and certainty, afraid that any display of sorrow might suggest a lack of faith. Yet Christ Himself wept at Lazarus's tomb despite knowing He would raise him moments later. The pastor who cannot weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15) reinforces the false notion that mature faith means emotional stoicism in the face of genuine loss.
Finally, church leaders must resist the temptation to offer simple answers to complex suffering. Job's friends were rebuked not because they spoke falsely about God in general, but because they applied theological truths inappropriately to Job's specific situation. The wise pastor recognizes that while all suffering has a purpose, we rarely understand that purpose fully in the moment. Sometimes the most pastoral response is "I don't know why this is happening, but I know who holds you through it."
By embracing these practices, church leaders can help dismantle the Reformed Prosperity Gospel in their communities and create space for believers to experience both the painful reality of present suffering and the certain hope of future glory, without denying either.
