Hope for the Empty Nest Mom

Hope for the Empty Nest Mom

The empty nest can arrive quietly—or all at once—and when it does, it often brings an ache no one prepared us for. The house is quieter, routines have shifted, and the roles that once defined our days feel suddenly distant. I was a homeschooling mama so this change felt really intense. This season can feel lonely, confusing, and deeply emotional, even when we are proud of our children and grateful they are growing, and being blessed as we watch them have families of their own and adding grandchildren to the numbers.

It hit me one day when I was wondering why it hurts so much and it seems my children don’t feel such a change or emptiness like me. One of the hardest truths to accept is this: we carry far more memories of our children than they carry of us. We remember the sleepless nights, the first sickness that created such fear and anxiety in us as new parents, the prayers whispered over their beds, the bedtime stories and the constant laughs and giggles, the poop in the bathtub moments and boogers everywhere, you know, the wonderful moments that made us a young family. They remember pieces—but not the weight, the sacrifice, or the love poured out daily. Matter of fact, they seem to not remember much at all! That imbalance can sting. It can leave us feeling unseen or forgotten. Believe me my tears I've cried could fill an ocean! Yet God sees every moment. “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

Empty nest grief is real, even when it’s mixed with joy. And along with grief often comes unmet expectations—like how often they would call or text, how close we would remain, how this season would feel. Some dreams don’t unfold the way we imagined. My husband thought our family would always live near each other and that his sons would help him build his electrical company, however that’s not what happened and now we all live miles and miles apart from each other, barely seeing each other. My sweet husband still grieves about this. I realize now that part of healing is acknowledging that disappointment and placing it gently into God’s hands. “The heart of a man plans his ways, but the LORD establishes his steps” (Proverbs 16:9). God knew this would happen. Do I really trust Him?

This empty nest season invites us into a new kind of trust. Trust that God loves our children even more than we do. Trust that the seeds we planted are still growing, even when we can’t see the fruit. Trust that our purpose has not ended—it is simply changing. “Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion” (Philippians 1:6).

Letting go does not mean letting go of love and memories. It means learning how to love differently—without control, without constant proximity, and with open hands and open doors. It means trusting God to fill the quiet spaces with His presence. It means spending more time in prayer for God to help you navigate this season with a fresh way to serve Him and continue the ministry He gave us when He gave us our children. Our children growing up and leaving the nest doesn’t mean there is no more ministry left to do. On the contrary! We have much more time for more ministry now! Seek Him on this and He will guide you! “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5–6). I love Charlie Kirk’s saying, “Make Heaven crowded!” Yes grieving mama, you still have a great ministry of sharing the glorious Gospel to lost sinners. 

If your heart aches today, know this: you are not failing, you are grieving. This is normal. Someone once said, “Grief is the price we pay for love. Its a testament to the beautiful bond you shared with your children.” In this time find someone you can pour your heart out to that will understand your pain yet point you to Christ for strength and healing. God is not distant in this chapter; He is near, tender, and attentive. He is faithful to redeem every season, even the ones that feel empty. And while this chapter may not look the way you hoped, God is still writing a beautiful story—one that includes comfort, renewal, and purpose beyond what you can see right now.

You are not alone. God is with you here in this season, and I hope you have a loving church family that will come alongside you in this time. If you don't please find a true Bible believing community. We are not meant to walk this journey alone. "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2